So as I have said I have been dabbling with internet dating and oh boy is that ever proving entertaining.
Let me introduce you to this guy:
Now for those of you up on your celebrity spotting and love those stories of celebs selfie’s getting sent out to the big wide world you will know (like I did) that this is Chris Pratt of Guardians of the Galaxy fame (and the Lego movie just in case you live under a rock). However, for the purposes of this blog post his name is Dave. A further example of why I think most Dave’s are total dumbness…
Now this guy has been messaging me a lot, sent a variety of hastily googled images of six packs with erect cocks attached (I mean actual erect cocks although I understand it can work for the person too) and all the while giving me some spiel about being a personal trainer, running spin classes, yoga pants and stating ‘I don’t look like this picture much anymore I don’t have the beard.’ – Yeah I am sure that’s the only difference.
Now I understand that I might be doing a bit of false advertising with the application of a rather nifty instagram filter on my photos and I might dial down the sarcasm for the first few interactions but I don’t get faking on this scale. Deluded, socially unaware faking that not only makes you look desperate but also a little intellectually challenged. I finally got to the point where I said ‘why the Chris Pratt photo?’ and he said…wait for it. ‘People keep telling me that’s a picture of Chris Pratt.’ – I wonder why…?!
Now this might sound harsh and…well I don’t care if it does but there are guys out there that the women they want to attract are going to completely ignore. They are too short, too fat, too still living with their mothers…whatever it is they are aiming too high and they know it, they probably get told it and some (yes not all) have taken to the fake profile. I have encountered this before and it’s not big, it’s not clever and it gets very boring very quickly. I mean so far in the last few months I have been messaged by Benedict Cuminmypants, Henry Cavill and Chris Pratt. Throw in Vin Diesel, Chris Hemsworth and Jack Black and I would be a very happy if not big-headed lady.
How fulfilling and satisfying can faking to get a few photos from someone be? Am I getting old? Maybe I am because I am at the point where it’s a case of take me as you find me (ok ok with added instagram filter) and if you want a fake Megan Fox or Christina Hendricks then keep looking. I might have to find out if there are women pretending to be celebrities too because so far I have only encountered men doing it and if there are I will judge them too. Just be yourself it saves the need to find pictures off google that look similar enough that no one will notice that they are different people, the need for a good memory and the harsh judgement that comes from people discovering what a loser or in this case Pratt you are.