So I figured out something about myself that I would have before now denied strongly. I, it turns out, am shallow.
Now I am not saying that being shallow is a bad thing in any way but before recent events I would have thought I was all about personality and sense of humour and all that bollocks but the truth is I’m a sucker for a pretty face and that doesn’t have to come with a side order of substance either.
In the last week I have been asked on two dates. One with a guy (#18) that seemed like a really nice guy, lots of common interests and someone that could not only keep up with my banter but bat it right back to me like a baseball pro; and the other a rather hunky personal trainer that cut straight to the chase and asked me out straight out of the starting blocks. Now let’s just point out that I didn’t get asked on these two dates at the same time. I had, after much consideration and debate with my none HDJ side, decided to cancel my date with #18 due to the fact that I considered myself ready in theory for a date but not in practice. That was however until McTrainer asked me on a date. Then all reservations and doubt about being ready or not went out the window. Like I said, shallow.
But it made me wonder, was it the idea of getting to know someone again and connecting with someone that turned me off and made me do the ‘I’m sick can we re-arrange’ text message or was this guy just not pretty enough to get HDJ’s pilot lit? When it comes down to it is physical attraction stronger than anything else? Does the prospect of getting laid have more appeal than that of getting a real connection and a relationship?
I guess in my case much can be said for getting my lady garden tended, I’m not adverse to someone who has a very talented green set of fingers getting dirty and give me a good seeing to; and they don’t have to be a Mensa candidate to do it. In fact in my experience I have discovered that intellectuality has nothing to do with sexual prowess and that the best sex I ever had was with someone I went out of my way not to converse with. I am not sure they would know what converse meant (unless they thought about the shoes…) So the concept of getting a little drunken and amorous with someone that was obviously seeing the blonde, the boobs, the banter and nothing else was more appealing to me than making deep and meaningful conversation with someone who wanted to demonstrate that they knew there was so much more to HDJ than an awesome rack and a non-prudish approach to life. There is, but I guess at this time my shallow nature just wanted to get the little hooded man in the boat some tongue, finger or whateverthehellwasoffered action. I didn’t want to have to work for it and feel like I was going to get accused of using him for his body the next morning.
I wanted pretty, I wanted hot, sexy, confidence not an evening spent discussing whether taxonomy within various aspects of society can actually be beneficial and indeed necessary. Yes, I can do that, I’m clever you know, but I just wanted some hot guy to try getting his hand up my shirt.
Women complain that all men want is sex and maybe in some people’s world’s that is a problem but at this juncture in my dating experience I’m going to take cock over consideration, hot over heartfelt and the more fun form of oral communication of wants and needs.
So what I learned is that perhaps I’m not shallow, perhaps I just don’t want to spend all that time and effort getting to know someone before we have very polite and considerate sex. Instead I want to bypass all that crap (yes I called forming a relationship with someone crap *shock horror*) and just find myself in a panting, sweaty mess at the foot of someone’s bed not even sure what day of the week it is without having to stay the night or arrange another date to feel as though they got something emotionally from it.
Maybe I’m developing a ‘Y’ chromosome.
Or maybe I’ve decided that because I don’t want to form an emotional connection with someone that my lady parts shouldn’t have to suffer.